I hate change. With a vengeance. When I was in high school, I thought nothing would ever change, that I would always be in school, would always be with my family, would always hang out with the same people. I thought graduation would never come. Twenty five years later, one of my major life lessons has been that change is continual. As a matter of fact, that’s the only thing that doesn’t change, is that times and life change. Did you get that?
When I got to college, I thought, okay, I will be here a while, I won’t have to get out and work anytime soon, then BAM!! No more summer breaks, no more Christmas breaks, no more family vacations because now I had to work for a living. Then the office staff that I started out with and thought I couldn’t function without…BAM!! They quit, more came, they quit. We would train one, they’d stay until something better came along, or like the one girl that worked for us all of ONE day, quit after our boss said to her, “Are you stupid or just dumb?” Yeah, the boss wasn’t one of the people who changed, and since the boss was my dad, I know he never will. He only fired me three times, hired me back within hours, and the last time it happened he just sold me the family business. Even that was change that I wasn’t prepared for. My younger brother went off to college and joined our business. That was change. Policies change, Presidents change, people change.
Even I changed. But this was for the better…I became a believer in Jesus Christ in 1998. That caused major changes in my life; I no longer listened to the same music or read the same books or even thought the same way. Now this was change I could live with. Getting married was a good change, and I would heartily recommend it. Having children was TOTALLY life changing…I’d recommend it, too.
But the changes which involve pain and/or work, those are the changes that make me want to just sit in a chair and watch mindless TV. One of my staff was planning on retiring at the end of April, and I’ve known since the end of last April, and I had put off looking for anyone, just thinking, oh, I will do that when it gets here. My dear friend/staff lost her husband five weeks before she was planning on retiring to be with him at home…now that’s the evil side of change. She’s not coming back and I was forced to hire someone new; thank God I had someone in mind and wasn’t completely blindsided. But my staff’s life change? No thanks. Her new normal is why change can suck it, sometimes. I’ve also found out that the preschool that my two oldest boys graduated from, and Caboose attends, will not be open next year. While that change is not as devastating as my co-worker’s loss, it’s still going to require me to change, learn new people, learn new protocol, do things differently.
I wish that I was one of those people who thrived on change. I don’t. At least I don’t completely shut down, right? I am learning with age that life must be taken as it comes and only I can determine what I do with it. Happiness is a choice and all that happy crap. I am just glad that I can rest assured that there is one thing that will never change, that I am promised in His Word (no wonder I love Jesus so much) that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8). My life is constantly changing, most of the time in ways beyond my control, but I do know that I can deal with the changes, because I have a faith that there is something behind all this “chaos”. Change is inevitable, but my response to it is not. Oh, wait, yes it is…I don’t like it and I am going to kick and scream a little. Then I will calm down, accept it, and make lemonade. Lemonade with lots and lots of sugar.