All my life I have been a terrific starter and a lousy finisher. I get uber excited about something, can’t stop thinking about it, talking about it, doing it, and then my enthusiasm wanes like the cycle of the moon, and pretty soon I have nothing showing up across my sky. I have done a lot of reading about personality types, and it so happens that my personality type is notorious for being unable to see things through to the end.
This weeks marks 8 weeks of the new me. I have started this journey no less than 8 different times, and succeeded once. I have started strong 7 times without finishing. Paul said in Philippians 3: 13-14 “…But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” That is what I want to do this time. I want to finish strong. I have to do this. I love my life, I love my family, I love me: my heart, my kidneys, my legs, my eyes, my nervous system. For these reasons, I cannot stop. Diabetes affects all of these things, and after talking with my doctor this week, I am more convinced than ever that I have no choice. I have patients on dialysis, I have family who have lost limbs, and for these reasons alone I must complete this race. And God has a way of providing just the right encouragement.
I read this week where one of my favorite (and local) “mommy” bloggers has her book in the number 3 spot of the New York Times Bestseller list, and she had succeeded in upping her fitness routine to a 3 mile run. I sent her a message of congratulations, and thanked her for all her encouragement. She sent one back saying, “Start and DON’T STOP!” Now she doesn’t know me (this exchange was via twitter), she doesn’t know the struggle I am going through, the lack of follow through that follows me, my inability to finish strong. But those words brought tears to my eyes. Start and DON’T STOP. Start and DON’T STOP.
I mean to finish strong in this race. I am still only walking, but yesterday I was crawling. I am still struggling, but yesterday I wasn’t even trying. I am still what you see on the outside, but my God knows who I am on the inside, and I know He sees me as His. Thank you, Robin O’Bryant, for giving me a “war cry” for my journey. You can’t know how much those words meant to me, and I am looking forward to NOT STOPPING!!!